Archive for January, 2009
like a heel in the mud
Jan 30th
My nail broke. UGh. Gotdammit.
I HATE when that happens because once one chips if you can’t file it down to lookin’ right you have to cut them all and start from scratch.
Yes, I know, I am a true girly girl. But I’m not so much mad at the fact that it broke as I am about the fact that it broke all weird and jagged-like and I don’t have a nail file to fix it right now.
Which brings me to the current state of my life. It’s not the state of it that I had issues with; it was not being prepared with the right tools to fix it.
I blame this slow start in 2009 on Mercury being in retrograde. Don’t judge me. It’s a fact. Look it up yourself. But it’s not so much that my life right now feels as though I’m walking in thick mud. It’s more so that I’m wearing heels instead of Tims or those weatherproof yet fashionable LLBeans that I heart so dearly.
The point is, I wasn’t equipped for the weather. I got no warning that I’d be waistdeep in mud this soon. So I got all cute in my Choos and stepped right in it. Gotdam. GOTAbemorecareful. Yes, yes, such is life. I know. I am aware. Which is why, I’m better now. My outlook is more clear because I know what I’m working with.
I chalked up the Choo-loss to life’s turmoil and I’m going hard in the trenches. Had to step back, reassess, rework, reprioritize. I know right?, all that already and it’s only January?
Well, it bes like that sometimes.
I’m pushing my way through the mud. But I’ll be damned if I don’t head to the nearest Louboutin shop the moment I get out of it and rinse off.
What??
You gotta reward hardwork and sacrifice.
~miss cyu
theraflu ramblings
Jan 29th
I may not be able to lift my head, but my hands are able to attach themselves to my mobile device with enough effort that they actually effect button pressure and as a result create letters on the screen. So…
I’m sick. And I absolutely haaate being sick. Ne-Yo actually called me to get my permission before releasing that song about me, “Miss Independent”.We argued for a while because I told him, “No, I’ll do it myself”. Well, no, of course he didn’t really silly but the point is, cupcakes, I like to do for self. As much as I possibly can. And at times when I cannot, like when I am so sick my eyelids hurt, I am abso-bloody-lutely miserable.
I am convinced, however, that God has it in his Blackberry reminders to make sure that I am sick every couple of months to the point of immobility just to force me to sit my ass down. I am forced against my will at these moments to be still and reflect. Though I kick and scream and curse the heavens He knows I can only do so with a voice and energy. Both of which He finds it humorous to take away.
And just when I say, “Aha! I have fingers! And my fingers have been given a voice through technological innovation! So HA!” and go to typing all the vile adjectives and distasteful nouns my many human years have gifted me, I am stopped. The introspective portion of my mind overtakes the shallow emotional and I delete… And begin again…
My experience of living alone in New York has, at times, been like voluntary quarantine. And all it takes is a little illness for a tail to sprout and Voila! I am transformed completely into the Ebola monkey with whom no one chooses to make contact. I say “my experience” because as I mentioned earlier, I’m pretty independent. The problem with being generally independent is, though you may have hundreds into thousands of friends and associates, everyone has this impression that you’re good. Good meaning you’re so tough and ready for life that regardless of what you’re served in your booth in universe’s cafe, you can swallow it. You won’t choke. You never bite off more than you can chew. Etc. Etc. Metaphors and silly sayings.
Alas, tis untrue. And in my three days of utter dehabilitation, I got a clear picture of how alone I am. No, no, no. This is not a pity party. Ne-Yo and I agree that when it comes to those we’d much rather “go have calamari”. This is simply observation. This is how I’ve been for some time now. Perhaps it lends to my nomadic lifestyle. Perhaps I prefer it this way. Either way and anyway, I’ve learned something else about myself after being forced to lay still: I choose to handle it. I always have and most likely always will. Yet, at times, such as now, I want my mommy.
I think I might begin laying still on my own. Doing so would probably make realizations less painful. So there, I guess I learned two things today boys and girls: I’m independent to a fault and I need to lay my ass down more. Fine. Whatever.
**Qimmah shakes fist at the heavens and mouths an obscenity before collapsing back into her pillow and pressing POST.**
everyone has their own form of protest..
Jan 23rd
SMH….

“Drunken Negro Face” Cookies On Sale at Greenwich Village Bakery
At at a time when any decent baker should have been selling racially harmonious black and white cookies by the truckload, one Greenwich Village bakery popular with celebrities and shows like Sex and the City has outraged neighbors by selling a “Drunken Negro Face” cookie in, um, “honor” of President Obama. [Video below.] A shocked customer tells My Fox NY that Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of Lafayette French Pastry, asked her, “Would you like some drunken negro heads to go with your coffee? They’re in honor of our new president. He’s following in the same path of Abraham Lincoln; he will get his.”
Later, her friend stopped by the bakery and said Kefalinos corrected her about the name of the cookies—they’re actually drunken “N-word” cookies. She says the backwards baker then repeated the dark suggestion that, like Lincoln, President Obama “will get what’s coming to him.” Go Secret Service, go!
And it gets worse when Fox’s Arnold Diaz goes into the store with a camera and microphone to confront Kefalinos, who suddenly makes Joe the Plumber look like a Rhodes scholar. “I called them Drunken Negro Heads. What’s the problem with that?” Kefalinos asks the newscaster with a smirk. “On Inauguration Day I thought it would be cool to change the name to Obama Heads. I just changed it for the day.” We suppose Burning Cross Bananas Foster was too complicated to mass-produce.
Kefalinos denies intimating that Obama would be assassinated, and insists that the cookie is “not unflattering. I think it’s a fun face… And anyone who says anything else should be ashamed of themselves.” Besides, nobody got upset about the “Dead Geese Bread” he sold after the recent Hudson River plane crash. (We’re NOT making that up.) Also, Kefalinos insists he can’t be racist because, for one thing, “my brother-in-law, he’s Cuban.” Below, behold the breathtaking train wreck of racist ignorance.
W.W.Y.D.?
Jan 22nd
While there is blatant cause for celebration with the recent presidential changing of guards, there is an even greater need to know when it’s time to send the band packing.
Is it historical that someone other than a pasty old White man is the head of state? Unarguably. Is it phenomenal that America’s level of positivity and collective swell of patriotism is, dare I say, at an unprecedented high? Absolutely. Is it dope that the role the hip-hop generation played in this time of change was pivotal? No doubt. Is the sudden interest and political awareness across the country, hell, across the world, astounding? Emphatically. So on and so forth, change is good, Yes We Can, boo Bush, Michelle looks stunning, confetti, celebrities, a resounding At Laaaast. However, and without minimizing the importance of this event in any way, I say, it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings, and Beyoncé may be thick but…
Time for the real. With past occurrences considered, our country’s ability to separate the perpetual dream from the necessary steps to that very one, realized, is questionable.
Dr. King dreamed a dream and was backed back then by dreamers alike. Droves marched and died for that dream. And when he was alive the urgency to spread that dream was strong. But when he diiiiiied, Alllll he left us was… A dream? Or was that all we kept of him? The sadness was justifiably overwhelming. Hearts broke. Heads hung low. Tears broadened into rivers of muffled cries. Yes, some continued on, but a huge part of the country that had dared to shout that dream from the mountaintops fell silent in valleys of defeat. So silent they were, that some just recently found their voices, this past Tuesday, when each recognized their own coming out of one man.
But this man, Obama, was awake.
So, what in the case of sleep, God-forbid the everlasting kind, overtaking him, this wide-awake dreamer? What when this man who awakened so many, rests? Does America the sleepy giant return to her slumber? As it were in the wake of King’s absence, shall it be?
The question becomes: how do we stop history from hiccuping without collectively holding our breaths and wishing it away or coating it with a teaspoon of sugar because someone, somewhere once told us that worked.
Ideally, enough of us will truly embody being the change we want to see over settling for seeing the change we want to be. Realistically, however, I fear that America is at-risk of traveling down the wrong path and crowning our president, Barack Obama, the long-awaited Savior. The Black Jesus, who will undoubtedly heal all lepers and give vision to the blind through blanket health care; The Mystery God who in old-faith tradition we can lay our burdens on and watch die for all our sins and unwillingness to bear our own crosses if they are anything other than fashionably blinged-out and pendant-size. Ain’t the truth cold? Achoo! Obama bless you. Thank you.
Obama knows this. He stresses the importance of individual accountability and the sense of communal efforts within each public address because he knows this. He’s dodging thorny crowns left and right, trying to resist the role of mulatto ottoman upon which all weary soles are placed. He knows every one of us is needed if we are to ever pull America back up by her blood-soaked bootstraps. And the danger in his cry falling upon deaf ears is looming.
Coming down from an inaugural high, America is faced with a sobering reality. We’re teetering on the line between shouting Yes We Did momentarily, as a celebratory exclamation of a once-unimaginable accomplishment, and using it evermore to prop up a false sense of arrival–one that paints mirages of security and births lackadaisical work ethic.
Yes We Did! Yes, We Did. But now that we have, What Will We Do Now?
Or, perhaps, W.hat W.ould O.bama D.o?
Or better still, rather than placing all of the healing on the shoulders of one outstanding soul, perhaps it is time we each stand, and Be the Savior We Want to See.
history, literally
Jan 21st

There’s no denying how Jay-Z’s words glide off his seasoned flow. But it’s his content that I’ve considered the real treat. Simple lines that peel back revealing new meanings with each listen. As I walked along his latest track, “History”, my appreciation for him as an artist reached another level. [Watching him perform it live for the president in his tuxedo was the overwhelming icing on the multi-layered cake; it symbolized so much to me; I was moved unapologetically.] Food for the thought~full. This meal’s courtesy of J.
Now that all the smoke is gone And the battle’s finally won Victory is finally ours History, so long, so long So long, so long In search of victory, she keeps eluding me If only we could be together momentarily We can make love and make history Why won’t you visit me? until she visit me I’ll be stuck with her sister, her name is defeat She gives me agony, so much agony She brings me so much pain, so much misery Like missing your last shot and falling to your knees As the crowd screams for the other team I practice so hard for this moment, victory don’t leave I know what this means, I’m stuck in this routine Whole new different day, same old thing All I got is dreams, nobody else can see Nobody else believes, nobody else but me Where are you victory? I need you desperately Not just for the moment, to make history Now that all the smoke is gone And the battle’s finally won Victory is finally ours History, so long, so long So long, so long So now I’m flirting with death, hustling like a G While victory wasn’t watching took chances repeatedly As a teenage boy before acne, before I got proactive I couldn’t face she I just threw on my hoodie and headed to the street That’s where I met success, we’d live together shortly Now success is like lust, she’s good to the touch She’s good for the moment but she’s never enough Everybody’s had her, she’s nothing like V But success is all I got unfortunately But I’m burning down the block hoppin’ in and out of V But something tells me that there’s much more to see Before I get killed because I can’t get robbed So before me, success and death ménage I gotta get lost, I gotta find V We gotta be together to make history Now that all the smoke is gone ( Lighters. Up.) And the battle’s finally won (Lighter. Up.) Victory is finally ours ( Lighters. Up.) History, so long, so long So long, so long Now victory is mine, it tastes so sweet She’s my trophy wife, you’re coming with me We’ll have a baby who stutters repeatedly We’ll name him history, he’ll repeat after me He’s my legacy, son of my hard work Future of my past, he’ll explain who I be Rank me amongst the greats, either 1, 2, or 3 If I ain’t number one then I failed you victory Ain’t in it for the fame that dies within weeks Ain’t in it for the money, can’t take it when you leave I wanna be remembered long after you grieve Long after I’m gone, long after I breathe I leave all I am in the hands of history That’s my last will and testimony This is much more than a song, it’s a baby shower I’ve been waiting for this hour, history you ours Now that all the smoke is gone And the battle’s finally won Victory is finally ours History, so long, so long So long, so longin life, you get what you pay for
Jan 21st
one day a man walked into a shop
and asked the price of confidence
the sales clerk smiled, and said “not much,
but it’s not bought by those with sense”
confused yet intrigued the man pushed on
“well what would it cost to acquire it”
the sales clerk chuckled and tilted her head
“well, your insecurity to start with”
the man was relieved, he had that to spare
he asked to see their stock
the clerk asked the level of confidence he’d like
as they cost from very little to a lot
the man sifted through the confidence rack
finding everything from assured to presumptuous
his nerves grew frayed seeing each price to pay
and remembered he had not the guts for this
just then he spotted a box marked “sale…”
blahblahblah somethin-or-nuther
he decided to buy the first one he’d pull out
and not to look at another
that day the man walked out the store
his cheap confidence brimming and bright
but the very next day it began to fall
the man knew something wasn’t right
he brought his purchase back to the store
told the clerk “this did not work, it must be broken”
with a sigh she replied “there’s no return on fake esteem
you should have inquired what faux meant.”
-q.saafir
