dear cyu

Heller cupcakes. I’m considering a new feature on Qomplesso and would like some feedback from you. It’d be a video feature.  Just videos of yours truly addressing a new topic with every post. I’ll choose my topics from reader submissions and that is where, my dears, you’ll come in.

Hit me with topics you’d like me to discuss. It can be a current event, an evergreen conversation piece, anything you’d like to hear my opinion about. This is just a trial run, 1. to see how you guys like it and 2. for me to become adjusted to speaking on-screen (I’ll fill you in on why at a later date *wink*).

SO, if you just read this PLEASE take the time to hit me with a comment and suggest a topic for the first go round. I know how my readers hate to leave comments (my hits are high but feedback, not so much) BUT do me this solid and stop being so voyeuristic. Take the time to let me know what you’d like to hear.

THANKS!

cyu

And now ladies and gentlemen, it is time for a new segment of our program called “Ask Cyu”. No, I’m no expert in …well anything, but for some reason a lot of people I know tend to seek my counsel regardless. So, with the permission of those who make queries, I am going to begin, every once and a while, sharing the question that they’ve submitted (read: asked over eats with or during a panicked 2am phone call to cyu) and a response to said question. Eventually, I’ll post questions submitted to me anonymously; feel free to do so if you have one.

Please trust and believe that I have my own set of issues/problems and by no means have definite solutions to those much less all the answers (or even some of them) for you, but not unlike everyone else, I have my opinion. Luckily, as it stands, this isn’t “everyone else”’s blog. It’s mine. See how that works out?

SO, here we go:

Dear cyu,

I’m currently “talking” to someone who I know I would not want a relationship with but don’t mind chilling with. The feeling is mutual between us, but I would still like to know how this person sees me. We interact like a couple and do what couples do, but without the titles, I’m left feeling like I don’t receive the proper respect. My phonecalls go unreturned and texts go unanswered. How do I bring up the conversation of what I am to this person without becoming the “nagging” type?

Best,

Never the Nag

~~~~~~

Well, my dear, this happens often. Even if both parties are initially fine with the lack of titles, people eventually find it difficult to function without some type of definite terms. Because it comes down to the actions/treatment that come along with being someone’s main squeeze (yea I know, I took it back with that one). You want to be able to say you deserve this, that and the third as this person’s __________ , but without a title on your lapel, you can’t really complete that sentence. Right? Wrong.

I don’t give a damn what that person calls you: their homie, lover, friend, pal, shorty, boo, janitor (no crude jokes intended)–you deserve to get what you give. Whatever you are providing this person, demand it back. Otherwise, why would they respect you? If you are providing prompt responses, emotional support, special treatment above others, attention etc., you deserve it back with no uncertainty.

SO, no games, no riddles. Ask this person straight out what it is. If they respond as if your nagging them move on to someone who thinks you’re worth a gotdam conversation.

cyu