days like this when i am completely drained i force myself to remember that it’s all for a purpose. it’s so easy to feel like a hamster in a wheel in today’s world. constantly working. very little sleep. hustlin’ hustlin’ hustlin’. the light at the end of my tunnel is that i have a plan in place and i am working it. when it needs tweaking, i reassess. i know it needs tweaking when i stop smiling.

when is the last time you asked yourself whether or not you’re merely going in circles with no exit, no conclusion? every now and again it is of the utmost importance to step back and reanalyze your life. revisit your game plan. decide if you are truly happy.

sometime it calls for a complete scrapping of your current map. crumbling it up, tossing it over your shoulder and hitting the drawing board again. whatever map you have, make sure that happiness and peace of mind are not only your ultimate destination but the road you travel to get there. you’ll know when you’re on the right path when you wake up in the morning and you’re excited about the day ahead of you. That’s when you’re on to something.

how’d you feel this morning?

i never would have thought as a child that i would have to relearn the art of being comfortable in my own skin.

as children humans are free. we wiggle our toes and smile big without care of our wayward teeth. we dance dances that have no names, just movement. we poke out our bellies and dress however we feel that day. we embrace silliness. we own ourselves. we own our happiness.

as we age and become more and more exposed to what is “socially acceptable” we learn fear. we become strangers in our skin. unfamiliar with ourselves. detached from the essence of what makes us who we are. unaware of how to truly be happy, searching for it everywhere else.

some of us remain this way, sadly, right up to the end. and some of us begin to journey back. struggling every day to relearn what it means to be free. to be ourselves. trying to remember why we thought we were so cool when we were young. it’s a taking off that brings us back. a peeling of layers.

i picked up a journal i had when i was eight the other day. i am so happy i thought to keep one at that age. it brought me back to a much simpler time. yes, as adults we have so much more responsibility. yes, we are more aware of the evils and ugliness of the world. yes, we are less ignorant to reality.

but, shouldn’t that make us hug ourselves that much tighter?

approaching 30, i am beginning to remember. i have a fuzzy recollection of why i used to think i was awesome. i remember walking out of the house in a bow tie, one shoe and one sneaker, a t-shirt and some ripped jeans the first day my mom let me dress myself at the age of about 4. i rocked. i was free. and didn’t care what anyone thought. because i was genuinely happy with myself.

today, try not to think about what others think. let them do that. think about what used to make you happiest. whether it be a certain cereal or a cartoon or a silly dance. then think about something about yourself that makes you the coolest person you know.

then wiggle your toes.

you’re awesome. have the best day ever.

been doing some thinking about growth and art. i come from a huge family of opinionated individuals. i’ve been told that i am much like them. it dawned on me recently that i am accustomed to feedback. i am used to commentary, whether requested or not. due to my upbringing i now crave critique, a return of energy, reciprocity. if i don’t receive it, i sometimes let that stop me from creating. i let it stunt progress or productivity. i let it steal away my moments of inspiration. i’m learning over time that even if you don’t hear it, see it, know it, everything we do affects someone, somewhere. we just have to keep giving. keep creating. keep loving. keep shining. keep knowing that what we are doing, if it is done in love, is being well-received and appreciated. so, keep creating in love blindly.

soon you won’t need to see it, you’ll feel it.

“what you don’t have, you don’t need it now. what you don’t know, you can feel it somehow.” — U2, “It’s A Beautiful Day”